Monday, October 5, 2009


I was going to write this fun post about cupcakes but that will have to wait. I feel like I need to write to get my feelings out because right now I feel like a big old jumbled up mess.

B's best friend we'll call him M is in a band. And not any band. They are a HUGE band and not huge like they have a lot of members but HUGE like they are so popular. B and M talk almost every other day and have been friends since they were in elementary school. The band has never played in my state before (well they have but it wasn't the "same" band) so B and I made our way over to see them play (2 hours away) on Saturday night. The band is from Miami, FL and is on tour right now so that was pretty cool to see them play live. I've met M before and I talk to him with B sometimes so that was awesome watching him play. After the show we all got something to eat and I got to finally meet the rest of the guys and really get to know them. We talked for hours all about their careers, how they got started, how they write their music, each others backgrounds, etc. It was so uplifting. These guys work so hard for everything and barely get by right now. They are a seriously famous band in Miami and the rest of FL and pretty much the rest of the South. They talk all about how crazy it is down there and then up here in the northeast they are nothing right now. These guys are going to be HUGE next year as they are in talks to tour with Nickelback next summer. Things will change for them and I can testify that they are amazing talented and awesome. I'm so proud of them!

B and I were talking on the way home about them and how awesome it is that they are doing this. B really wants to find a job and to be "more grownup" but right now it's so hard. He wants to do something equally as amazing. To come back home from living far away and showing people things that he has done. I think that is why partially he wants to be in the Navy. (We still haven't heard anything.) He wants to show people with what he is a capable of and right now he just can't seem to get it going. I was thinking about my life too. I absolutely hate my job right now. I desperately want to leave but I don't have a degree. I want to get my marketing degree so I can travel and do promotions and marketing but I need my degree and right now I'm waiting to hear about funding for that. I feel like I'm just on this see-saw and I can't seem to catch a break.

Today was like a breaking point for me. My job absolutely blows! I am harassed by vendors all day long on the phone and now other agencies in my job just yell all the time at you when they don't even know who you are. I hate my job and I need to find a new one. Ideally my job would be doing event planning/marketing as my full time job. This can happen I just need my degree so I can get that job. My job that is in left field that is becoming more difficult is acting/singing. I would love to make that happen but I couldn't quit my full time job and live off of nothing b/c that's what actors get. It's so frustrating.

Today is just one of those days. One of those days that you look at other people's lives around you and think how they hell did that happen? Why can't my life be like that? I need a change to happen soon. I just need to make it happen. My favorite quote is reach for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars. I just need to remember this and aim high. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day full of enlightenment and wishes. I hope so because this bad mood is really making me more mad.

Till next time, Sarah